It Could Be Worse

I woke up in a king size bed with a tall man from Louisiana. But it could be worse. I was speaking at a Christian creative arts conference in Nashville, TN and the motel paired me and Ferrel Marr, aka Puppet Man, in a room with only one bed. How Cajun.

When we checked out and went to our cars Ferrel said, “Well they got me last night.” At the same moment I noticed a large earring on the ground beside my car. He continued to explain that his car had been burglarized. I was shocked until I noticed my door open as well. “They got me too!” I said. But it could be worse.

The pickins’ were slim in his car, only a couple puppets and a petrified alligator head. I am not making this up! Thankfully only his door lock was destroyed. In my car they got the stereo, GPS, and my moneybag from the conference with $400 cash. Guess I won’t leave that in the car again. They even took the quarters off my dash. And they grabbed one more thing, a disposable toothbrush. But it could be worse.

They left behind my trademark pink jacket. There is just no accounting for taste. They also skipped a books-a-million gift card. Since I watch CSI I put all the clues together. I determined the thief is an illiterate pirate missing one earring with fresh breath. As I was describing all this to the extremely nice Officer Carter I think he wanted to laugh about the “fresh breath” line. However, he maintained control and very kindly said it could be worse.

After the report was filed, Ferrel and I found a bank so I could get some cash. However, the bank was closed and neither of us knew how to use an ATM. We were standing in front of the machine with Ferrel going through his wallet to loan me money. It must have looked like I was robbing him. Well, that’s what Officer Jones said when he pulled up with his siren on. But it could be worse.

The good news is that I can whistle in place of the radio, the conference took up a collection and replaced my stolen $400 and I picked up the pirate’s lost earring. The bad news is without the GPS it took me 6 hours to find my way home. But it could be worse.

Before we headed home Ferrel gave me the petrified alligator head. Every time I look at it I’m reminded of how incredibly blessed I am. As the events unfolded, yes every detail is true, Ferrel and I had a choice to make: laugh or whine. We chose to laugh. We were both safe and everything can be replaced. It could be worse. I could be the alligator!

Barry Mitchell